Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she was so not down for the gang bang
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
