hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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