Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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