Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
