reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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