So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize