p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize