But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i think my mom watched the whole time
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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