i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
