Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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