How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
