Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
