Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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