I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
