thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
