my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Damn victory sex feels great
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
