So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wanna passion pit in your ass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
