I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
