Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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