I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
