just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
