I skipped work to stalk him.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
