well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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