hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
