I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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