no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
