Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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