I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize