I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
