No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she told me i tasted like america
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
