you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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