shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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