He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
