I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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