I accidentally had phone sex last night
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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