ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
