wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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