I feel like I'm in dance class right now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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