i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
