It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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