I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The feeling are messing with the penis
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
