carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
