at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
areolas are like halos for boobs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
