he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
