Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
