I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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