Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need to calm my uterus...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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