My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
