my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
