So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
