So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
