all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
