you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
