Come see our sink grown plant.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
