you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Randomize
