Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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