Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
