i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
