AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm both gender and math confused
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize