Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
